Want your site to look sort of like this one? Then I've got news for you:

Your condition can be treated. Seek professional help. Now.

... Still here? Well, as long as you're staying, feel free to sample my first attempt at a downloadable theme: DRUPALACE ZEN, an unhealthy reimagining of the popular Zen CSS theme. (Download at bottom of page.) 

Naturally, you won't want to keep your site looking like this one; it's my hope that you can use the theme as an easy starting point for something more creative and wholesome.

Warnings and the such:

Before using the theme, please do cast an eye over the included READ ME. And just for the heck of it, why not back up your database beforehand, too? As a matter of principal, that's all. Oh, and double-check the door locks, and count the children. Just sayin', you know.

Your feedback and suggestions are welcomed!