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Yes, there is a current of "you're doing it wrong" in Drupal forums. Though hearing that, I'm immediately inclined to throw in some qualifiers, like these:

• Many people who hear "you're doing it wrong" (often me!) actually are doing things wrong. 
• "You're doing it wrong" isn't necessarily a negative comment; I see it stated often as a neutral fact, followed by helpful advice. 

On top of that, I have to offer sympathy to the real Drupal experts who devote time and energy to the project: They do some great work in aiding newbies, and perhaps could do more, but at the same time they want to actually focus on bettering Drupal and, of course, on making their own stuff with Drupal (that'd be the reason for them to be creating it in the first place!). There's only so much time they can devote to directly helping others.

I'll also note that Drupal does continue to get easier and easier for newbies – D6 more than D5, and D7 (I'm guessing) more than D6. For that, I have to applaud the developers. 

But all that aside, I agree with you: There isn't as much friendly hand-holding for Drupal newbies as some would like. I know it's turned off some people. There's actually a lot of great help on Drupal.org and other sites, but sifting through it to locate the good newbie stuff can be a real pain. Similarly, there are amazingly helpful people on the forums, but there are so many posts that newbie questions often go completely unanswered.

That's where I see a role for beginner-oriented sites, and the recent great crop of books aimed right at beginners. What the busy core Drupal developers don't have time to do, others can step in to do (and they're doing so).

You hit on one key word, though, that everyone maybe can and should have a little more of: Empathy. I hear you on that one!